Re - Investing in Assumptions

"Behind your thoughts and feelings, my brother, stands a mighty commander, an unknown sage – he is called Self. He lives in your body, he is your body"

(Nietzsche, 1883).

It's 05.00 and I'm fully clothed under the duvet, loaded with piping hot coffee and plugged into Led Zep - Mothership and loving the howling wind and rain battering off my window.  Still in prison but I'm heading over to reception about09.00 to be processed and home for the weekend.  Then back Tuesday for one night to be processed for TIME SERVED Wednesday.

One might assume that I'm jumping all over the shop - like the cat on the proverbial hit tin roof.  One might assume that because of the kak weather thee has been a dampner put on my day and I will no doubt have this brought to my attention on several occasions before I get out the gate, and onto the train and typing this up.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  the weather has never dictated my mood in prison.  My perception of it is like most things of the real world.  Complete detachment and indifference.  the physical storms of mother nature compare not a jot to the storm, battles and raging tempests in my own mind.

God - the piano in the middle of 'No Quarter' is so soothing!

Sorry, I digress, but no quarter is quite apt as to what follows.  Further to a couple of strained/tetchy conversations this week with family members on the subject of prison and me being in it I have come to the conclusion that my assumptions have been all wrong.  Had assumed that they had accepted it like I had and that they will willingly and openly want to discuss it in the future.  It's only now when I stop to think do I see, in their eyes, the politeness of love, the tolerance, the patience and the flashes of anger which betray their true feelings.  This prison experience has been my life, I assumed because they support me they will want to share.  You know I study psychology, right?

It's now Sunday evening 21.48 and I'm lying on top of my bed in my Dads house, still under curfew.  I have just read over the two pages of assumed cleverness I had written, ready to have pop at the madness of it all and how terrible it all is and…  Do you know what?  It doesn't matter.  I've been at MY house, all morning and left MY front door unlocked and listened to MY birds sing in MY back garden and had My friends and MY family trapes in and out until I left at 14.00 for a well deserved feed with MY Mum.  My sister has got engaged and we are all very pleased.  My Mum has her son in his new house a free man, and a daughter who has found true love, happiness and HOPE again.  My Mother is purring and I'm left like the guy who got the last bit of cream.  So what of assumptions?  They are all only temporary or as permanent as one wants to make them. As I finished my blurb I wrote "Ramble On a more fitting end I know not.  It still stands.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKVp-atyiVA